Walt Rubel Commentary: The heavy burden of jury duty

Serving on juries for two recent trials was one of the most difficult and least satisfying things I’ve ever done.

As a journalist working at newspapers in small communities, I was exempt from jury duty for most of my life. I knew too much about the cases and the attorneys. The city attorney of Canon City, Colorado was the setter on our co-ed volleyball team.

I’ve watched a lot of TV shows and movies about juries, and have covered a lot of trials, but this was my first experience serving on a jury.

I was selected for two trials, which was a surprise. I thought being picked the first time would take me off the list for a while. But, I understand the logic. I did feel much better prepared the second time.

Both of the cases I heard involved family disputes. Neither case had physical evidence like fingerprints or DNA; or independent eye witnesses. Experts testified that injuries were “consistent with” what you would expect to find under the allegations, but none of them actually saw it happen.

And so, the deliberations in both cases were incredibly difficult. The first one went well past supper time. They were getting ready to lock up the building and send everyone home when we finally came to a decision.

The second one was even harder. We made a good-faith effort, with several hours of respectful and honest debate and discussion, but could not come to a unanimous decision. The jury was hung and the judge declared a mistrial. It felt like failure.

Now, with the benefit of time and distance, I understand that we did our best. There’s a good reason why the threshold for a guilty verdict is unanimity. The standard for taking away a person’s liberty should be difficult to meet. Sometimes a hung jury is the right decision.

In both trials I was impressed by how seriously all of my fellow jurors took this assignment. With so little physical evidence to rely on, all of us listened carefully to the testimony, because that’s all we had. 

We followed the rules, respected the process and did the best we could. But about those rules … I can’t stress enough how unnatural it is to go through something like that and not talk about it with the people you are going through it with. It’s just counter to every other experience in life, especially when doing something for the first time. We learn and process information by bouncing ideas off each other.

Serving on a jury felt like a heavy burden. It was the only time in my life when I have held that kind of power over another person. It’s easy to ask, who am I to decide? At the same time, there is an alleged victim to consider as well. There’s no way somebody doesn’t leave the courthouse feeling crushed.

I struggled to make peace with the fact that we couldn’t be certain. We might do our best and still make a mistake. That’s hard.


Walter Rubel can be reached at [email protected].

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